Time Lapse

Take me walking through
time-lapse
If you can
I’ll adjust my breathing
But you’ll have to adjust
Your sights








(Inspired by you …and Mae West. Mae always ‘liked a man what takes his time.’)

       ~ 💜 ~

Love...

Love isn’t just the drug, it’s the curative agent

          ~ missimos

His Salteaux Girl ~ Till Death do Us Part ~

Till Death do Us Part ~ 

Modern Day Shaman Pt.2

Sorry. Deleted the pic of my modern day shaman.  Just too personal. Too floored this dream man once existed here with us.  

*just breathe*

Never had anything quite like this occur before and I've not been short on supernal experiences since I was a little girl.   Hmmmnn.  

A man was introduced to me in last might's dream to me by my cousin.   My cousin had said he was a kind of modern day shaman, and he smiled.   Said I ought to let him help me navigate my way out of my current conditions of body, mind and spirit.  

I respect my cousin ~ of course I opted to get into the back of a New York yellow cab with this odd and slightly taciturn gentleman.    His name is 'Antonio' ....

My cousin DID give me his last name and I said to my cousin F in my dream 'Pardon?  What?! Gram-see?  LOL!  What's that?  What kind of name is THAT?  Sounds like graham cracker!'

My cousin repeated his name. Antonio Gramsci.   I just shook my head and assumed my cousin was not right in the head.  Gram-see wasn't a Native American name!  Not even Mexican, I thought.  Shook my head.  My cousin shook his head and gave me an image of Neoplolitan icecream in my head.  Pasta. 

What the ever loving fuck ARE you on about?  I'd said to my cousin.  F replied "Gramsee ~ like Italian" and he smiled at me and shook his head and sighed.  Just like my cousin did as we grew up in our childhood and early adulthood.  I lived with my cousin for a short time in Nova Scotia when I was 18.

I digress....

I guess after the last dreamshare involving my native ancestors that we'd had, I was so bent on thinking one of my first guides to come must be First Nations that I did assume the man/shaman F was introducing me to MUST be native.   And this guy he was introducing me to was swarthy, but not Native and not Mexican in appearance either.    I just blanked off my cousin when he tried to tell me the guy was Italian.   He showed me an image of this fellow in Little Italy, New York.  Then shows me a yellow cab and this Antonio is going to be my driver and my guide.  

 

So not kidding.   Life just got stranger for me.   But in a good way.   I kind of hope this guy comes back.  I'd like to have a guide who sticks around a bit longer ~ teaches me.  Mentors me.   

What he talked about in my dream:

The 'shaman' said to me that 'religion, government and science creates crisis creates situations, dangerous in the short run, since the various strata of the population are not all capable of orienting themselves equally swiftly, or of reorganizing with the same rhythm.'

He expressly showed me how organized religion, governments & Science creates the net or basis from which many of us go along with from which to hang from our co-creations with them.  

~ And here too his actual words .. 

We are the builder and that built (this he said to me in the dream):

He said we are not free because we do not know that we are.  We run from and we run to needlessly, because some of us don't even understand the poles we have created and accepted as a a place between which we vacillate.   Such misery and fear within this milieu, we laid down the structures over centuries.   But he said, we are creatures that are builders and once awake to where we are, can build anew along new lines and leave the old 'fault lines' abandoned to decay back from whence they came.    

And here is he what said when he said in life ~

In my dream Antonio had said to me ....'religion, government and science creates crisis creates situations, dangerous in the short run, since the various strata of the population are not all capable of orienting themselves equally swiftly, or of reorganizing with the same rhythm.'

Oh my fuck.  He said that and I SAW this clip, in the middle part of my dream.  Saw the bit of this vid where the nun is chasing the men through the European city

http://youtu.be/G2DQua8h82M

 🙀

In the dream he expressly showed me how organized religion, governments & Science creates the net or basis from which many of us go along with from which to hang from our co-creations with them.   We collude in our own realities here.  

But it is an illusion to believe that there is nothing more than what we have created to date.  

He said we are not free because we do not know that we are.  We run from and we run to needlessly, because some of us don't even understand the poles we have created and accepted as a a place between which we vacillate.   Such misery and fear within this milieu, we laid down the structures over centuries.

   But he said, we are creatures that are builders and once awake to where we are, can build anew along new lines and leave the old 'fault lines' abandoned to decay back from whence they came.    

     I am so flipped out right now.     I agree with everything he was showing me. 

~ "The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear."

He said "Ideas and opinions are not spontaneously "born" in each individual brain: they have had a centre of formation, or irradiation, of dissemination, of persuasion-a group of men, or a single individual even, which has developed them and presented them in the political form of current reality."

He said that "Man is above all else mind, consciousness -- that is, he is a product of history, not of nature." 

He'd said that "How many times have I wondered if it is really possible to forge links with a mass of people when one has never had strong feelings for anyone, not even one's own parents: if it is possible to have a collectivity when one has not been deeply loved oneself by individual human creatures. Hasn't this had some effect on my life as a militant--has it not tended to make me sterile and reduce my quality as a revolutionary by making everything a matter of pure intellect, of pure mathematical calculation?"

But in my dream he was saying he was partly right about things he'd surmised but was then still missing an important piece in that now he understood that we are all connected, yes, but in his time on earth then he didn't realise how firmly we as a race could choose to individually and collectively uproot our current conditions by use of our individual and collectively concerted consciousnesses.    

These were more philosophies and ideals for him.  He sensed the unity man, but the tangents he saw the masses lost in left him feeling sure mankind just would never 'get it.'    He felt man would rarely understand the solidarity to the party of the true authentic Self.

He thought certain they might never share collective visions to build outside of the frustrating limitations and single-minded intents and beliefs of religion, government and science.   Each of which in his time (and still somewhat today) sought a supremacy for the minds and intentions and grosser resources of mankind and of the earth. 

Said he'd tended towards collective politics because at first it seemed to share his vision of a supportive more focused way to utilise our mass energy.   

Perhaps we could shape and build a greater 'global nation' of individuals contributing to the growth of fellow individuals outside of the narrow parameters we had.    

He says We have the power to change our milieu, and to build again...  if we are willing to unflinchingly look within at what each one has built.   

I am ready for this, but like everyone else, has become emotionally attached to our surroundings.  They have become like touchstones we keep upon mantelpiece.  

He said little and big earthquakes are coming to loose these stones so you might as well let them fall wherever they now become loose inside of you.  

Begin to move.  To climb. To travel inwards until the terrain no longer has the dust of these old cities beneath my feet.   

What's coming loose under your feet these days?

Maybe we need to start in simplicity ~ find a way to learn to be simply human again?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-want-learn-human-being-again-just-digital-robot-david-frank-gomes

  

~ We Are All Connected ~ Just here to explore that with You ~

Modern Day Shaman

Just had one of the most astounding dreams yet!    

Posted the gist of it on twitter.  Then after that I've just now found the shaman in my dream to have been a real person!   OMFG.

  

The dream:

My cousin 'F', introduced me to a man in the middle of this awful dream city.   Looked like the span of New York to LA energy, with some Europe tossed in the middle.  

My cousin said his name was Antonio and he'd helped him with his health and mind issues (my cousin has suffered from both).   F said I should let him drive me around.   Help me get my bearings, and more.  

Oh he did that alright.  Half of what he said and showed me isn't in twitter, not google plus ~ the full details were written in my dream journal this morning.   

Voici Twitter etc....

Dreamt I sought to move away from the neighbourhoods of lower consciousness ~ go live in the Atman instead  http://t.co/J28rsImTeR

Dreamt I kept seeing people living only within the missing links in the modern worldview.  Finds this, this morning:

http://t.co/J28rsImTeR

Nothing in the 'lower neighbourhoods' of mind & spirit had stability nor growth ~ just illusion & misery.  Dark streets darker hearts dwell.

A street Shaman told me to pick out a new vehicle to be, to take me outta here.  Be one less cluttered, more simple in colour & design.

Touchstones fell off of my mantelpiece ~ but he said you don't need those.  They're stale. No longer represent who you are becoming.

But you know, the rotting little things we carry around with us are best left where they fall

So I left the entire home, began to climb, make my way to higher ground.  He said I'd know where to stop, for awhile, when I got there.

If you meet me on the street, I'll be wearing my grandmother's face, for now ~

Post Script:

Well that's a bit weird. This is the shaman who showed me around ~ And he used to have the name of Antonio Gramsci http://t.co/prvZin7wH2

He was short.  Swarthy. Olive complexioned.   At first I assumed in the dream that he was First Nations.   Just expected he would be.   But then no I knew that was wrong.  His features and colouring weren't quite right fit that?  Was he Mexican?   I couldn't figure it out so I just accepted what he looked like.   He was wearing the clothing of a 1940's cab driver ~ no hat.    

Same hair and spectacles, only he seemed to be in his fifties now.  He died at the age of 46.  Indicated he was grumpy due various internal disorders that had affected his moods and digestion.   

Oh my god.  He was also hunched over like he was in some kind of internal discomfort ~ pain, only he looks now to be early to mid 50's.

He took me round this dream city in a New York yellow cab.   The City itself was a representation conglomeration of Europe, and the 'span' of New York to LosAngeles.    He showed me the people as we traveled through it to 'my home/apartment.'    He was saying things about identical to the quotes page one finds listed here.  

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_Gramsci

Holy crap!  This is the guy!   Until the wee hours dream I had I'd never heard of this man.   Nothing to register on my consciousness.   Not long after I woke up this morning I stumbled upon a pic and a quote on Google Plus.   

Sometimes I go there for inspiring pics etc.  

I loved the quote.  Something about the face was familiar.   I'm like, this guy looks a bit like the guy I just dreamed about, only the dream guy had the same hair but cropped much shorter and he looked older than this photo by at least 5 years.  

Felt impelled to look him up and then this: 

Holy crap!  Same no neck dude!   And oh my god he WAS short.  Dark.  He did suffer years of pain with his internal organs.    No wonder the guy was so grumpy.  

Like the ghost cabbie Buster Poindexter in the Bill Murray film 'Scrooged.'

Holy shit!   Same low forehead.  Same eyes, thick dark wavy hair.   Same intense eyes.  

In the dream my cousin F had introduced him to me as, 'Antoino' which I thought a very odd name for a Shaman.    Asked my cousin to repeat his name because that couldn't be right!    GOL!  But right, it was...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antonio_Gramsci#/media/File:Gramsci_1922.jpg

He was talking to me about THIS exactly.  Giving me mental images and a tour of mankind as if it were all contained within a specific type of city.   The city of indifferent people.   

Holy crap ~ like this, exactly!  He'd actually told me if I didn't like the 'city' I was living in, I'd have to move, and I'd have to change it myself.   Build a new one.    I didn't know how to change it yet, so I told him I'd have to move for now.  Find higher ground ~ from which better to see the illusions of self.   Because I had to see self as it it first before I can change it, or my world ✨

    "I hate the indifferent. I believe that living means taking sides. Those who really live cannot help being a citizen and a partisan. Indifference and apathy are parasitism, perversion, not life. That is why I hate the indifferent.

The indifference is the deadweight of history. The indifference operates with great power on history. The indifference operates passively, but it operates. It is fate, that which cannot be counted on. It twists programs and ruins the best-conceived plans. It is the raw material that ruins intelligence. That what happens, the evil that weighs upon all, happens because the human mass abdicates to their will; allows laws to be promulgated that only the revolt could nullify, and leaves men that only a mutiny will be able to overthrow to achieve the power. The mass ignores because it is careless and then it seems like it is the product of fate that runs over everything and everyone: the one who consents as well as the one who dissents; the one who knew as well as the one who didn’t know; the active as well as the indifferent. Some whimper piously, others curse obscenely, but nobody, or very few ask themselves: If I had tried to impose my will, would this have happened?

I also hate the indifferent because of that: because their whimpering of eternally innocent ones annoys me. I make each one liable: how they have tackled with the task that life has given and gives them every day, what have they done, and especially, what they have not done. And I feel I have the right to be inexorable and not squander my compassion, of not sharing my tears with them.

I am a partisan, I am alive, I feel the pulse of the activity of the future city that those on my side are building is alive in their conscience. And in it, the social chain does not rest on a few; nothing of what happens in it is a matter of luck, nor the product of fate, but the intelligent work of the citizens. Nobody in it is looking from the window of the sacrifice and the drain of a few. Alive, I am a partisan. That is why I hate the ones that don’t take sides, I hate the indifferent."

    ~ Antonio Gramsci

More of what he had to say.  Oh my.  It completely resonates with what he was talking about to me...

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/2438.Antonio_Gramsci

~ I understand much of the dream ~ but as always, there's just so much more to learn from it.    And I don't know if this Antonio will be back again or not.  I will ask him to come back if there's more he wants help me with.      

For you see, I AM about building a 'new city' ~ based upon the highest levels of human consciousness .... for and in myself first.    So that I can then help others do the same 💚

to be continued...

Make No Mistake

   MAKE

   NO

   MISTAKE

   YOU

   ARE

   MINE

What Airport Wilds Cannot

Airport Wilds, Fleshly Depots ...

You know I find beauty in the magnitude that is humanity, you know my curiosity and appetites are whetted and have been all my life ... but this....this You?

You sustain me and you thrill me.   You hand feed me filthy treats beribboned in love.

Humanity has got a three ring circus to offer me on a plate, 

     until the day I die,

but you see,

I am become increasingly aware over the last few years, that there can only ever be but one you.

You are what my heart cries out for in the noon day sun ~ no matter how ever many raw fancies I see ... ever and always and perpetually does my mind and my heart and my body return

to you.

I've been 'out there' ~ I've tasted morsels from as many plates as I have chosen to.

   That's how I know that lust and beauty are idols with empty eyes, that visceral promises from others are often more mirage than meat once behind closed doors.

Being physically and mentally with others is a friendly enough business, at times ~ rough and ready or slow and burning, and sometimes lust & the having arrived is surprisingly repellent  ... but after the body and mind has cooled, one returns to one's own solitary bed.

   

One returns ~ layered in the cloaks and skins of others, and just like the impressions you have made upon them, they wear you too ~ but no matter how invigorating and soul enlightening an experience is, once exchanged ~ it can still never match the peace of lying down to sleep in your arms.

Others come and go with the flash of a showgirl's leg

~ or they come and go smile and nod of a grey and fascinating head,

Or... on they come and have gone on the fragrant knotted belly of a youth who says he thinks that he loves you ...

I know what love and beauty and wisdom are behind closed doors and pressed up against open doors and against streetlights ~ I have tasted all their mouths and I know that I could taste more and more until my eyes cease to open upon their endless wheel.  

But, in truth.

There is only one You.

Yes.  Sure.   I'm a traveler of flesh and of spirit ~ always keen to befriend the natives of each mindset I meet.  I know how to partake of the rites of strangers, then to part amicably, or at times to get the hell out in a hurry by the seat of my pants!

But I'm telling you, even the airports of wilds flesh become wearisome if you can never go home.

You, my darling Nicimos.

Understand that you ...

  Are.

      Home.

          Xxo ~ 

Two Heads, One ~

Oh good lord you're a 'wrong un' Sir, but that's just one of your most endearing (& terrifying qualities)

Fascinating man.  You're an energetic contradiction.  Duality is thy name ~ You've got two heads, and sometimes in conversation, they agree

Man with two heads... I think I like it best, when the gleam and the purr of your eyes match

When up & down offer each other kind passage ~

But I hate it most when your two heads bicker in front of me

Each trying to argue the other out of existence

I know that as a man with two heads, when the left hand befriends the right, there's nothing your hands cannot create

It's pretty exciting to kiss a man of two mouths ~ I never can say which one it is you'll give me

But shush now my love(s) ....

   Just take me into the fold(s) .... 

My Favourite Window Seat

Blushing Tart

Washing an apricot under running water, two hands.  I started to convulse with pleasure, along stem and sternum - the tender velvet hues of it pricked me into a shock of submission , and damn near melted my backbone with each tiny bruising little grasp

Truth be told (other than any other bumptious lie of mine) ... it was when that apricot flew up my ventricles the penny dropped.

This one's an apricot-pit (body) stone erupting nearly three hours since we spoke!

Here I find a gleaming roller coaster - I'm on the first fairground ride of an American coaster~car and on sensate silver skin rides these neural rails

Beyond aroused now.

I was really hungry but now I don't want to eat.  I just want to want to eat all night

I'm so aroused I've just split my seams

That's the way I feel when I'm with you.  I can't look at you but that soon I find myself skinning you like a peach, carving you with my eyes and with my little Tongue.

Neurons that Wire Together, Fire Together ~ a Journey in Neuroplasticity and Pain

The video link here concerns both Hindsight and Foretelling.  Perceptions of one affects the other.   You might want to listen to it before you read further ~ 

My journey into Neuroplasticity and Pain follows ...

Weekly LightBlast with Jayme Price - Foretelling and Hindsight

http://youtu.be/jT8Ee-tjE1U

     I allow my vulnerabilities to expand my strength.  What does that mean?  For me ~ the present includes acknowledgement and curiosity about a painful neurological condition I've been recently blessed with.   It makes me incredibly vulnerable to all energy. Open.  Too open in that the nervous system detects normal stimuli such as eating, talking or hearing as threat and reacts sending the messages along the vertebrae as flight pain signals. 

Indescribable pain that travels along the nerve paths throughout the head, affecting eyes, ears, face, teeth and provides highly unpleasant sensations within the skull ~ Trigeminal Neuralgia

'They' say it's incurable.  I choose to remain open and curious about it for now. 'They' call it the suicide disease because many who get it experience the desire to be freed of its pain enough to entertain suicide to be rid of it.  

During my worst flare ups I can say this assessment can be a most obvious one. 

But, it's gift of being 'too open' has meant that my spirit parameters along with my nervous system are open, more sensitized to both the reception of information and energy, as well the enabling the transmission of same to and through others.     

I've long had these channels available for conscious use towards practice or 'effect' of self-healing or, healing others fragmented body, mind or spirit.   Or available for the simple transmission of energy or thought.  The results of those conscious experimentation in expansion and contraction are in and of themselves a meritous study.  

The gift now is that some of the 'blinders' I've had surrounding  'cause' attached to conscious choices are removed, this is enabling me to make more harmonious choices of action in the now, because clarity & increased scope of vision and sensitivity have been the trade off for having the 'windows' and 'doors' blown off of my inner 'house.'   Perception of Cause and Effect as they relate to chosen expansion and reactive contraction are 'widened'.   

Through this opening at first came uncontrollable waves of pain in stimulus.   Secondary inadvertent blessing is that my body intolerance for conventional pain medicine has disallowed their use as a 'dampener' effect to shut down or slow down wave and rate of electrical, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energetic information. 

I've had to learn that an open door also let's out same energies leading to easy depletion and exhaustion.  Therefore I return to centre to stillness to quiet through mindfulness and breathing ~ because 'centre' is by contrast a place of slowed vibration, a place of 'wise' mind, where the organism neither strains towards the past, nor rails to be in the future ~ racing and straining finds peace in neither.   I am instead discovering an all encompassing vision and awareness within each current moment.   In the moment exists enough energy for that moment ~ it is neither wasted, taxed nor 'spent.'

The pain and over loud stimulus has led me to have to utilise the learned tools of slow deep breath, mindful awareness of the moment, intentional progressive muscle relaxation and gentle visualisation, in order to slow down the rate of painful sensory input.   The input may still be as loud and brash and as searingly painful as before, but with less stimulation provided by energy given over to mental & emotional rumination ~ all that remains 'true' within the present moment can be accepted more harmoniously in such a way as to elicit less nerve damage which compounded with the normal systemic body reactions of fight or flight.  

Acceptance in the moment means the energy of fight is removed along with the expenditure of energy of the desire to flee.  

     Hindsight and foretelling are still very much a part of the active base of my being and how I intersect with the world, but it's as this video alludes ... I am cause and I am effect.   I allow the wisdom that comes with past experience to be used for the bedrock & culmination of wisdom it contains, but rather than ruminate painfully on its 'story' ~ I gather it's inherent learned won wisdom, and I free up my energy centres in the moment to allow flow.   Flow devoid of expectation.  Flow that allows that best and highest of vibration which enriches my expansion, permits choices made upon the base of it's widening berth of information.  Being in quiet centre allows flow that enlarges and enriches my body, mind and spirit towards action towards acting in same ~ and best of all, has more than enough room to effortlessly allow sensitivities and openness to others to share whatever spills through me that supports their own flourishing.    

In this we can see that 'blessings' and 'curses' can be two sides of the same coin. 

     This very openness and return to a slowed centre now makes me examine with fresh eyes and ears of the heart and spirit, the information that I have prior been privacy to regarding past and future for self, and such information about those who cross my paths wherever we connect.   I'm beginning to look at this intuitive information in that, with the blinders of ego blown off my windows and doors, the 'doors of perception' are now allowing me to perceive both self and others without the colouring of past prejudice to cloud my judgment of the intuitive information about them (and self) I receive.   

Expectation is also a welcomed casualty of this experience.  With less personal blocks to my perception of others, my own channel as vessel to support healing universal energy in love towards them ~ expands and widens to dissolve obstacles born of my own limited egoic thinking. 

Instead I allow self to tap into and become one with the stronger wider tide from which we all flow.   

Psychic, mental, emotional and physical vulnerability in self is embraced as a vessel that allows choice.  I understand now the energetic consequences of choice.   Within me the dynamics of cause and effect now play out in a shortened time span that I have never heretofore witnessed.  

If I choose to pay attention to only the fear and pain vibrations that pour through my doors as based upon a traumatic past, they create and manifest further inner and outer world blocks .... Or if I choose to be willing to let these go in order to open ones arms even wider to every other possibility ~ and if I couple it with the mindful intent to welcome ALL information ~ then that tide of information now becomes just that - information -  In silence and stillness I can reach out to nurture options inherent within that internal rush of stimuli that can support untold opportunities for growth and healing of self ~ and well as allow conduit for same in others.  

Choice has always been mine, but this experience of neural high sensitization to energy has allowed Blake's Doors of Perception to become open.  Conscious Choice devoid of detritus of old matter from the past becomes mine.   Hindsight become a base, not a sentence.   Foretelling becomes effect I can choose, no longer a small-sighted unavoidable and intractable 'sentence' ~ but rather an energetic conscious realization of the scope and magnitude of the positive creative manifestive now.  

I can make choices that align with harmonious growth that exist within this moment.   I can plant conscious seeds that affect the future.   

For me, to fortell becomes now a paticapitory action where neurons that wire together ~ fire together.   

Making Sacred Love (with) My Hands

"Making Love - A Sacred Experience" (OSHO, he talks slower than January molasses in this video & makes some sexual~spirit sense) 

http://youtu.be/xbyOE2_Yssw

You think OSHO's gonna go on about how we culturally took on harmful religious ideals about sex, but nah ... There's tantric gold in them there hills

      

I understand what he means about entering into a love meditation when I think on my lover with just my hands & he is far away ~

I haven't studied Tantra, but nobody needed to teach me how to swim in these erotic spirit places ~ with my lover present or not ~

I hold him in my heart and mind and body, with my head my heart my hands.  Invoke all his ~ then I choose to swim inside of what we are ~

Infuse holograms of hotels and mountain roadsides that are already brimming with his sex, his head his heart ~ 

Climb inside of Us, & Our roar

I send his name cascade over the top of my mouth, till it should spill into his walk this century ~ and everywhere he is, his bones vibrate

I close him round my pursed lips ~ reverb of his fingertips in chords, echo in my spine traced along the ways I long for him - these lines, ours

He knows I walk behind him, footstep to arch inseam, within him mark deep maps of our sexing ~ I always know the way 'home'

Inside Our roar ~ We, swimming ...

http://youtu.be/nqaNkcfMb7c

                            ~ ❤️ ~